A Pocketful of Sunshine

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

i finally let it all out that night, that very night.
i think i finally decided to let go.
it wasn't easy, but i decided not to let the past chain me down.
breaking free is the only way to move on.
maybe tomorrow will be better. but it could be worse.
whatever the future holds, i'm ready.
ready for the next challenge... the next heartache.

xoxo,
S
1:08 AM

Saturday, November 19, 2005

i feel shacked.
totally drained.
so weak in spirit and soul.
life is really taking a toll on me.
i just wish i could just fade away...
simply throw all these trash away.
cos' it's slowly dragging me down.
maybe then, i'll feel lighter in spirit.

i'm balancing on thin ice, and my sanity is hanging by a thread.
i feel so burdened by every thought that is going through my mind right now.
i just wanna close my eyes and have this loonnngg ggooodddd rest.

felt slightly better after watching "I am Sam".
EVERYONE SHOULD WATCH THIS MOVIE!!!
cheers to Sean Penn!
i'm a sucker for tear-jerkers and i'd a gd cry.
tears are just wordless comfort to the weary soul.

whatever it is, this is what i've to say to Life.
"GIVE ME A BREAK! I'LL DEAL WITH YOU LATER!"

xoxo,
S
1:40 AM

Monday, November 14, 2005

off to a brand new start.
back to being same old cheery sammie.
haha (: yeah. like real.
felt like i've been deprived of sleep for days.
and boring lectures with lame 'please-try-to-laugh' jokes doesn't help.

my conscience has been bugging me today.
haha (: i think kim, ful and arthur knows why.
but then again, it's ok to be naughty once in awhile.
who wants to be a saint their entire life right?
haha (: but come to think abt it, i know one such person.
xian might agree with me that it's lene.
no offence, leney. take it as a compliment instead.
love you anyway gal! just wasn't in the mood to msg that day.

came across something that i would like to share with all the guys out there...

"The greater man is not one that can seduce a million women in a lifetime but the man who can hold onto one forever."

sleep on it, Casanovas (:

xoxo,
S
11:30 PM

Saturday, November 12, 2005

"BACK OFF YOU GUYS! I DON'T NEED YOUR SUPERFICIAL SMILES AND FAKE CONCERN! I'M BETTER OFF ON MY OWN! FRIENDS? I DON'T NEED ANYONE, ANYONE AT ALL!"

sometimes, i just wish i have the guts to say that, but i don't wanna sound like a rebellious, childish teenage spoiled brat no more. at the end of the day, people needs people and my friends means more to me than they think and i hope that they realise it too. they are practically my Achilles' Heel. it's so tough being a good friend. tougher than most people think. being there is just not enough.

i missed genuine hugs and warm "hellos"! i finally appreaciate the innocence of a baby's smile. reality tends to mould us into someone that we don't wanna be --- someone cynical, someone bitter, someone cold and heartless. why? all in an attempt to protect oneself. when the goings get tough, it is always nice to know that there will always be someone around to catch you when you fall. we tend to take our friends for granted. we assumed that they will always be there for us. we are so wrong. they are humans too, they have their own mind-bloggling problems and they too, need someone who care for them and love them for who they are. they can't always be around.

i haven't been meeting up with some of my old friends recently. and seeing the fact that everyone is so caught up in their own world, i think the next time i'll ever see them again at the same time in one place is at my very own damned funeral. if i were to be optimistic, it'll be at my wedding. i don't even have a boyfriend to start with, so lets not venture there.

life make sucha fool outta us. it twists us around its pretty little finger and we don't even know it. you wanna talk abt being used and betrayed, ask me. i've survived and live to tell the tale. it hurts so damn much to feel so unappreciated. i learnt things the hard way, eventually stopped trusting and grew up. where's my optimisim? it ran out. any more to spare?

if you're upset, walk away. if you're angry, walk away. if you wanna yell, walk away. if you wanna slap someone, walk away. IF YOU'RE NOT IN CONTROL OF YOUR EMOTIONS, WALK AWAY. maybe someday, just abandon this cursed life and walk away. walk away... walk away... walk far far away... far away...

to ful: i'm sorry for being so selfish! we should just have gone ahead with our plans and leave yyidah out. forgive me if i've neglected your feelings with regards to this.

and to all those struggling to be a good friend out there, this is for you...

The Unshakable Companion

Being a friend is easy when times are good or when you benefit from the relationship.

But a true friend sticks by your side even when things get tough.

This is the kind of friend you desire.

But to have one, this is also the kind of friend you must be.

The best way to keep your friendships alive is to bury the faults of your friend.

xoxo,
S
2:10 AM